ADVANCED MASCOTOLOGY

*How to Read a Team Page

Ohio U's Rufus the Bobcat sucker punches Brutus Buckeye in his own dojo.

FULL NAME: So you know what IUPUI stands for.

LOCATION: Because Oakland University isn’t in California.

CONFERENCE: They matter, even if the Big Ten has twelve teams and the Big Twelve has eleven.

HISTORY: Some of what you read here is fact, some is fiction, some is inspired by actual events.

RIVALS: What keeps your favorite mascot up at night, on and off the court.

RATING: It’s broken down into five evenly weighted categories worth a maximum of two points each…

  • Originality: If your mascot is a Bulldog, but your school isn’t Yale, then you’re probably not going to like your score in this category.
  • Presentation: If your mascot sweats like Brutus, it’s gonna cost ya.
  • Authenticity: Sooners, Hoosiers, Seminoles, etc, score high; Camels, Tigers, Kangaroos…not so much.  
  • Intimidation Factor: Think of this like the food chain: good for the predators, bad for the produce (ahem, Syracuse).
  • Political Incorrectness: If your mascot stands firm against feeble assaults from the emotionally soft and the intellectually weak, then you can bet on scoring high in this category. If your mascot is the Hofstra Pride, I hope Rufus the Bobcat shows up to your next home game.

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