ADVANCED MASCOTOLOGY

2011 Southwest Bracket, 2nd Round (1st Round)

Posted in 2011 Tournament by Dave on March 17, 2011

 

16 Jayhawks vs. 1 Terrier

Tulsa, OK-Jay from Kansas knows Oklahoma well, he spent this season beating up on every mascot the OK state had to offer. A hybrid of the bluejay and sparrow hawk, he’s loud enough to get your attention, and fast enough to snatch whatever he wants. And let’s face it, dogs are easily distracted. Boston’s Terrier will never see it coming.
WINNER: Jayhawks        

9 Runnin' Rebels vs. 8 Fighting Illini

Tulsa, OK-Technically, Chief Illiniwek retired as Illinois’ mascot in 2007, but with no replacement they leave me no choice. The school adopted the Fighting Illini nickname to honor their WWI vets, so make the mascot a Doughboy already! That should keep all the pacifists in Champaign busy. I’m sure the politically correct crowd will be gunning for UNLV’s mascot next, but he’ll have plenty of time to plan his defense since nobody’s going to show up for this fight.
WINNER: Runnin’ Rebels      

12 Commodores vs. 5 Spiders

Denver, CO-Something tells me a Commodore isn’t the type to shriek and run away when he sees one, or even five spiders on the wall. Even though Vandy’s Mr. C is getting up there in years, you can see he still has arachnid-smashing guns…if that is what Richmond’s Spidey is supposed to represent. Should somebody tell them spiders have eight legs, no? But even with a full complement of appendages, Spidey wouldn’t be able to count the number of beatings he’s about to catch.
WINNER: Commodores         

13 Cardinals vs. 4 Eagles

Denver, CO-The cardinal: a tiny, seed eating passerine (perching bird) native to North and South America. The eagle: a large, flesh-eating raptor with a sharp beak and powerful talons. Can 13 Louisville Cardinals benefit from a better than three-to-one advantage? Only if they bring Louisville Sluggers. Morehead State’s Beaker will rip the Red Birds to shreds.
WINNER: Eagles               

11 Hoyas vs. 6 Rams

Chicago, IL-A Georgetown Hoya is a dog, and a VCU Ram just looks like one. What’s a Hoya? Apparently the nickname derived from a Greek/Latin hybrid chant, “Hoya Saxa!” which was popular on campus around the turn of the 20th Century. This is why members of the Classics Club shouldn’t be allowed to congregate in public. The Rams will be outnumbered almost two-to-one, but they’ll be well rested since they only have to travel from Dayton. The booksmart Hoyas would be wise to not even show up, but either way they’re going down.
WINNER: Rams                  

14 Boilermakers vs. 3 Peacocks

Chicago, ILSaint Peter’s nicknamed themselves the Peacocks upon reopening in 1930. The peacock is a Christian symbol for resurrection. In nature, the peacock (male) displays his plumage to impress the peahen (female). In nature, Rowdy, the Purdue Boilermaker, is more impressed with good caulk than good plumage. He and 13 of his buddies could take this one half-cocked. (That’s right, I just used the word cock–or caulk–in five different sentences without ONCE slipping into the gutter. My momma must be reeeeeeeal proud.)
WINNER: Boilermakers              

10 Aggies vs. 7 Seminoles

Chicago, ILA&M’s original mascot was almost named road kill. Reveille I was a stray mutt that got hit by a car full of partying cadets in 1931. She survived, they felt sorry for her and they took her back to campus. She was named after the famous bugle call because she howled along with it and busted her newfound caretakers. Surely cadets have improved their ability to sneak bitches into their rooms, but there’s no way a bunch of collies will sneak by Darth Maul’s cousin, FSU’s Chief Osceola.
WINNER: Seminoles                        

15 Fighting Irish vs. 2 Zips

Chicago, IL-Too bad this isn’t a straight up match because both mascots have a reputation for boxing. Akron’s Zippy the Kangaroo would have a distinct advantage because Notre Dame’s Leprechaun did his best fighting last night at the bars. But with 14 of his Guiness-swilling mates to back him up, these Leprechauns are going to pull that marsupial’s pouch over its head and beat it like a bodhran.
WINNER: Fighting Irish 

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6 Responses

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  1. cheap car insurance said, on November 8, 2013 at 18:21

    A few years ago I’d have to pay someone for this information.

    • Gourav said, on March 8, 2014 at 15:09

      Would love to win a3200 for Parachute Regiment Charity. My son was a Para and they looked after so well when he was diosganed with lung cancer and sadly died earlier this year. Would love to be able to give something back.

    • does levitra lower blood pressure said, on April 2, 2014 at 09:12

      At last! Someone with real expertise gives us the answer. Thanks!

  2. Alisha said, on October 23, 2013 at 13:31

    the same thing that the next wave was too alien, that it didn’t assimilate etc.)? We are ineedd multicultural in that we are a mix of many ( e pluribus unum and all that). I don’t think I said that all cultures are equally good each has strong and weak points. It’s pretty hard to put them on some kind of spectrum, but if you have some definite ideas about what that spectrum of merit would look like, I’d like to see it. I am saying that the mix has been good for America. I also don’t recall speaking of tricks , so I’m a bit lost on your last question.

  3. Ejaz said, on August 30, 2013 at 02:49

    I second that I’d love to see T.O. in an ealges jersey again, but only under the right circumstances…he would have to approach us with his tail between his legs and an earnest commitment to not cause any locker room disturbances, which I assure you will not happen. Taking into consideration the way in which he maintains his body, I can see him having a few good years left, esp given the right qb (i.e. mcnabbulous). I’d much rather see us go after our more pressing needs, most of which our esteemed webmaster covered quite nicely (te, rb, fb, etc)

  4. Maniaujla said, on July 29, 2013 at 05:51

    uk German shepherd ruecse work their socks off for free to ruecse and rehome german shepherd dogs all over the uk.The kennel fees and vet costs that they pay out have to be raised by fundraising and they never turn a dog away that needs their help, no matter what age or condition that dog is in This money would be a welcome gift to help towards continuing the wonderful work that they do.


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